Trials and Triumphs

I have felt the blessings of heaven in my life.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me. 

Why then do I still have to face challenges? 

Many times I have heard the phrase, "why do bad things happen to good people?"

When I heard that I used to just shrug it off, saying that bad things happen regardless of whether you are good or bad, and it is all part of the tests of life. 

I always felt solid in that answer. That I never needed to question why bad things happened, because it was all a part of a greater plan.

Until the day when I heard myself asking Heavenly Father why I was going through a particular trial. 

I had done what I was supposed to.

I had faith. 

I knew that I had a loving Heavenly Father, and my Saviour Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost to help me. 

I was on the path. 

I was staying strong. 

So why then was I struggling?

Now I don't feel any particular need to divulge all the trials I've gone through in my life.

But I have not been without trials.

I have had times where I have doubted.

I have had times when I have been afraid. 

I have had times where I have cried and begged to be released from the struggles I faced.

I have had moments when I wanted to give up...

But I haven't. 

And I won't.

The trials I have faced have always led to something. 

Whether it was an occasion for me to learn a principle I hadn't yet had the opportunity to understand, or whether what I learned going through that trial ended up helping someone else. 

There was always a purpose. 

And I have faith and believe that there is always a purpose. 

There are days when I have felt it would be easier to leave the church.

When I felt my life would be so much better without that responsibility.

There are days when I want to scream and curse and cry.

And there are days when I just want to run away from it all. 

But here is what I know to be true. 

I know I have a Heavenly home.

I know I have Heavenly Parents and a family made up of all humanity. 

I know I am loved beyond what my mortal mind can ever comprehend.

I know I have a Saviour and Redeemer in Jesus Christ, who has felt all my pain. 

Who has endured every trial I have ever gone through and will ever go through.

I know that He lives.

I know that He loves me.

I know that He is my big brother and the love and feelings of protection I feel over my own siblings, to the point that I would do anything for them, is nothing compared to the love He feels for me. 

The love He feels for everyone. 

I know that.

Ever since I was little I have understood that this life can't be it. 

That this life isn't it. 

There is more.
We came from somewhere, and we are going somewhere.

That there is more to life than simply surviving.

We are here to thrive, to grow, to learn and to experience. 

So while I continue, daily, to struggle.

While there are always trials to face and mountains to climb. 

I know that it will all be worth it in the end.
Because this,

This is nowhere near the end of my story.

And as hard as your trials may be for you, this isn't the end of your story either. 

So join me, as I continue to paint by faith. 

Inspired.

Some weeks I just have a lot of inspiration.

To paint, to write, to avoid doing homework.....

So here is my second blog post of the day, fourth of the week and it is only Tuesday!

Dang I am doing good.

But here I am... Sitting... Chilling.... 

Why you may ask yourself? 

Because my best friend Emma B, previously mentioned in an earlier post, is opening her mission call tonight! 

And I am so extremely, unbelievable excited about it!

Besides that, I also went and painted tonight. 

It is so good to be in the studio! 

And there is a set of windows overlooking Main hall, and the sunsets each night.

 It is perfect! 

And I finished one of my paintings tonights. 

Or at least it is finished until I decide I want to change something else. 

LOL.

Anyways here it is...

Mac says it reminds her of the train in the Hunger Games.

Personally, with the black outlining, it reminds me of the storybook in the show Once Upon A Time.

But maybe that is just me.

With this piece I really wanted an illustrated appearance, something you would see in a book. 

I think I got that in this painting and that makes me so happy. 

Now I just need a title for it. 

And for it to dry.

But anyways, any title suggestions???

Thanks.

And even though this is just a work in progress still, I thought I might as well post it. 

JK this is just Jesus doodles from Institute class. 

What I really wanted to show you is.......

THIS!

So I have done a lot more on it, but in betweener pictures are awkward. 

This is a beginning picture that looks pretty dang great if I do say so myself.

Which I do.

It is going to be a whole field of lavender, with a white picket fence once completed. 

One thing I love in my art is visual texture. 

My goal is for people to have to try their hardest to restrain themselves from touching it because it looks so there. Maybe I'm too tired and that actually makes no sense, but it clicks in my brain.

I am excited to finish this piece. 

I love this piece.

I LOVE ART!

To finish off this final post I would like to include some beautiful pictures of where I live. 

Virginia is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

On Sunday my friends and I went to Glenn Maury Park and just hung out. 

I went on an adventure. 

Found some deer.

Took some pictures.

It was great.

Well, Emma should be opening her call at any moment now......

So I am signing off for tonight.

Goodnight world!

Blast to the Past

Since my last blog post was about my amazing Squad, I thought today I'd write about my friends outside of the squad. I love friends. If we connect over something and enjoy each others presence then I probably consider you a friend. So to all those who weren't aware of that, sorry but you are my friend.
I've made lots of good friends over the years who I love.
So here is a shout out to my high school peeps, those who knew me during my most awkward years and still chose to be my friend. ;)

First off is my Emma's. I don't know if any of you have seen the kid's tv show, Recess? Anyways, on that show there is a group of girls all named Ashley and they were all best friends. I wanted that so badly! My senior year of high school the Emma's and I became a thing. And we all ran for student council together too!

Shoutout to Hannah Farrell for taking the pics and Duane Beazer for graphics.

In my group of Emma's is Emma D and Emma B.

Emma D. and I were friends when we were youngin's. We've been in plays together throughout the years and have had some good times. She is amazingly brave and strong, and cares so much. She has twin nieces who she just adores and she is just an incredible person.

Then there is Emma B. 

Emma B is one of my very best friends from home, and her mission call is coming this week so I am SO excited about that! But her and I are like two sides of a coin, we are each others opposites. But it works out kind of perfectly. She also was my greatest competition in High School, but it was a pretty one-sided competition. But she always has pushed me to be better. She helped me in so many ways that I don't even think she realizes. Because of her I did better in school, I attended mission prep and seminary, I was social and involved. She has been an amazing friend. 

These are my Emma's I'm so glad we are friends!

Next is Mckae.

I was in Grade 11 and Mckae and I shared an English Class. We were also in the same ward. And one day I decided I wanted her to be my friend. So I brought her gatorade and we became friends. 

TADA!

And then we became best friends. 

We would go to the temple together each week. 

We drank gatorade together while studying. 

We skipped Sunday School to sit on the temple lawn and discuss life.

And together we just vented and sought to understand the craziness that is high school.

Mckae is absolutely amazing and I love this girl!

Next up is Chelsea.

Chelsea's friendship was literally an answer to prayer. 

I was president of my high school's service club and desperately needed a vice president. 

I was so stressed. I was overwhelmed. I needed help. 

And so right before Grade 11 started I prayed that I would find someone amazing to be my VP. 

The first day of school I was sitting in my art class when Chels leaned over and asked me if I knew who was in charge of the service club because she wanted to join.

 I took that as a sign and we have been best friends ever since. 

She is brilliant and organized and compassionate and strong.

And she is an amazing cupcake maker.

Love ya Chels!

Now the Sha(e)(y)lee's...

Shaylee Nelson.

First off she may be the craziest person I have ever met. 

Secondly, she is one of my favorite people I have ever met.

She is someone I have always felt 100% comfortable around.

We are so crazy together it is great.

I think our friendship started with me stealing her pencil case every day... 

And then one year for my birthday she gave me a pencil case of my very own, but I still stole hers anyway.

She is one of the most genuine people I have ever known. 

She is always herself.

In my head I think of her and picture her with her hair flittering through the wind as she rides a horse through the mountains. 

It is a pretty accurate depiction of her.

I love ya Shales.

We also double-dated it for Grad and it was one of the best things ever.

Then there is Shaelee.

Shae is one of those people who is always there when I need her.

She has this gift where she sees those who are struggling and helps them.

She cares so much and is strong and beautiful and kind. 

And she is also going on a mission to TEMPLE SQUARE which I am unbelievable excited about.

We were the best of friends for years and I am so glad to have her in my life.

"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you always know they are there."

Contrast between grade 9 grad (below) and grade 12 grad (above).

I think we have only gotten better with age, right Shae? 

Now here is the tricky part.

But maybe it is the best part.

The next friend I am highlighting is Spencer.

Who is on his mission and can't see this, which is why it is tricky but also great.

But oh well.

Regardless of whether he can read this or not he is one of my best friends.

My first memory of Elder Comin was in fourth grade I think, and I was running for class president. 

I had Smarties candy that I was handing out with the little slogan, "Be a Smartie, vote for Emma."

He accused me of calling those who don't vote for me stupid, and of basically bribing a bunch of ten year olds. Which we were. Eventually we sorted it out, luckily. 

PS. I did end up winning Class President.

But we were in the same ward for years and years.

And remember the whole competition thing with me and Emma B? I was in competition with him too, though I don't think he knew that either...

But he ended up as Valedictorian so there are some battles that you just can't win I guess.

While we were always unspoken friends it was in high school when we really became great friends.

Mckae and I always tried to convince him to skip Sunday School, and we had some pretty great adventures.

Somehow, even with my bad influence he is out honorably serving a mission in Honduras and is doing great. 

As terrible of a photo as this is of me, it is the only Grad pic I have of us.... So, oh well.

Then there is Dalys.

She is last because she is the youngest. It may be flawed logic but that is how it goes.

Just kidding. 

I love Dalys Fletcher.

She is incredibly talented, brilliant, kind, beautiful, strong etc.....

And she makes me a better person.

We worked together at DQ, and honestly she is the only thing that got me to work some days.

Because I knew if we were working together than I was in for singing the whole shift, competitions to get the order out as fast and accurate as possible and often a talk outside of the temple afterwards.

I miss that girl.

She is such a great friend and I love her so much!

Brief shoutout to everyone else who I call friend, but either I couldn't find adequate pictures for, or we haven't had enough adventures yet to constitute mentioning. Let's fix that ok?

I am so grateful for my amazing friends who have gotten me to where I am today. I love them all!

Grateful...

Today I would just like to say....

 I am so extremely grateful and I thank God every day for the friends I've made here at SVU.

I've never had best friends like this before.

(Mckae, Chelsea, Emma if you are reading this know that I love you all.)

But these friends I've made here, my squad, are a gift straight from God.

With them I feel accepted. I feel loved. I feel important and needed and wanted.

And I don't know what I would do without them...

So here they are for your general approval and consideration.

The Squad.

I'll begin with Ashley.

She was my original roommate, who I met on my way down to SVU so we could see if we would survive living together.

To be honest neither of us was sure, there was an incident of me texting her while under the influence of drugs, post-surgery, and of a certain song from Wicked discussing a blond roommate that wouldn't stop playing in my head.

But similar to Elphaba and Glinda, we became best friends.

And I LOVE this girl!

She loves her family and is a miniature of her mom. But like a Lisa 2.0-she is an Ashley.

She is strong. She is good. She is beautiful. She is smart. And she is kind.

She took the time to see the good in her crazy Canadian roommate who physically can't stop talking sometimes and is a complete nerd.

And through late night deep spiritual discussions, soccer, a concussion, and 9 of the best months of my life, we have become best friends. Ashley Preisler, you are going to be an amazing missionary and I am going to miss you so much!

Our first meeting in Utah- at Costa Vida which I now love thank you very much Ashley!

 Our first day of classes! Woot woot!

This is our signature pose. Went to the DC temple together, and unintentionally matched. :)

 We were chilling at the airport waiting for our flights home at Christmas, and matching.

She has a deep and abiding love of rice krispies. She may kill me for posting this pic but I love it and I love her!

Next is Mac.

Mac Cottle who is Canadian too but denies it. Her grandfather was born in Canada, right near my hometown so I claim her as one of my own. 

But besides that point she is a proud Oregonian.

She flips between being a princess and a ba every day, and I love that about her. 

She is strong and trustworthy and good and cares a lot more than she will ever let on to anyone.

I am so glad she moved into our room!

And together we nerd out over Netflix, Harry Potter, books and musicals. 

And I will be honest. We have no pictures of the two of us together. None. Zip. Zero. Nada. 

It is so awkward. 

However, we decided the reason for this is because our bonding is watching Netflix together, separately in the dark. And having deep discussions. And neither of us are the type to instigate pictures so oh, well....

 I am definitely going to die for posting this photo. But that is Mac asleep in the back on our drive to FLORIDA!

This is from one of our very first weeks at SVU, getting ice cream. She is on the far right, next to me. :)

This is a self-portrait of her. JK, but she is Audrey Hepburn in her own mind, which I fully support because Audrey is Amazing.  

Here is a real photo of her. She is beautiful. But what I love best about her is that she is even more beautiful on the inside. She loves her family, especially her other 2/3's of her triplet gang. And she is brilliant. And cares so much about making the world better. I love you Macklemore!

Then there is Uri. 

Gosh what do you even say about Uri?

Maybe I should start with the fact her first name is Savannah, but we all call her by her last name. 

She is so musically talented, and she didn't even let us know forever. But she has mad skills. 

She is deeply loyal and protective of her family and friends. And we love her for that. 

She is so freaking funny and always makes us laugh. 

She is smart and courageous and daring and good.

But what I love most about her is how she can always tell when something is wrong with me. We don't always get along. To be honest we are very good at annoying each other. But she knows when I'm struggling. And often I will laugh it off, or deny it, but she can always tell. And I am so grateful for her in those moments, for seeing beyond the facade I put on and just being there. I love you Uri!

 This is Uri. She's kind of freaking awesome. ;)

During midterms we were stressed, and exhausted, and annoyed. But we were also matching. And that is obviously the priority, so we stepped away from our studying to take a picture. Gosh I love this girl! Thank you for always being there when I need to be distracted from my problems. 

Sierra.

Basically imagine the perfect person and you are close to picturing Sierra. 

She is so cool you can't even handle it. She is also so humble. 

Food is her comfort food. (Probably why we get along so well.) She also is kick-butt athletic and loves exercising, lifting weights and getting swoll.

She is smart and studious. But loves those study breaks.

And her love for her little sister melts my heart. I knew we would be best friends when she told me the story about how she prayed for a little sister and her prayers were answered. 

She also is gluten, dairy and soy free. I have a soft spot in my heart for people who can't eat food I guess. (Mckae and Emma I'm looking at you two)

But seriously though. Sierra is the bomb.com. 

This is the two of us. I spend time with her hoping some of her natural swag will come over to me. It hasn't happened yet but I am optimistic.

Sometimes we match. And we look mighty fine doing so. Sierra and I just click sometimes and have deep life discussions and it is freaking awesome. I love you C-Ratchet.

Then there is Kadee. To my eternal annoyance she doesn't have a middle name. I don't know why and I don't care to find out why. I just devote my time to figuring out a middle name for her. 

Some days she is Kadee Jeanette or Kadee Louise or Kadee May or Kadee Priscilla. On bad days she is Kadee Jezebel.

But my favourite is Kadee Kadeline. 

It has a nice ring to it...

I count my blessings every day and meeting Kadee is one of those blessings. 

I visited my family last weekend and was talking about my friends. Specifically about Kadee. And my mom asked me if she was a friend who cared as much about me as I did about her. Obviously, by the fact that question was asked it is a rare occurrence. And I could whole-heartedly answer yes.

Kadee and I are bosom sisters like Anne of Green Gables and Diane. 

I am so glad I met her. 

Both small-town girls. Oldest children. We get it. 

And I am grateful for that.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE! Someday I will frame this picture and hang it in my house because I love it so much. This is my Kadee.

Here is the two of us at the DC temple. 

And this is my 19th birthday. She is so darling, back home people call her Lady, as in Kadee Ladee. 

I love you Kadee Kadeline. 

So that is my squad. They make me happier than I have ever been. I have found the best friends that everyone talks about, and they were well worth the wait. Girls can be so petty and catty towards each other. But these ladies are amazing. We strengthen each other. We encourage each other. We make each other better. I feel so blessed and lucky to have them in my life.

SQUAD OUT!

Missing Uri... But this is us at the Winter Formal Dance. Which I personally believe should be called the Snow Ball. 

Elevator Groupie. 

In Florida together. Squads that travel together stay together!

Watching the Duff together. Which is now the Squad's official movie.

Barring how burnt I am.... This is the cutest pic ever!

At Stake Conference together.

I love you Squad!