Painting with faith

Hello world!

This is my blog; of irrationality and friendships, of struggles and successes and most importantly of art and faith.

I need a place to express myself, to vent and release the pent-up emotions inside my soul. I'm not all that great with speaking, but writing, I can do that. However, my favorite way to communicate is through my art. When I haven't painted in a while I can feel it in my arms, in my hands, this built-up emotion that I need to release. I hate conflict, I'm not good with confrontation, and I feel most of my life is spent restraining myself so I better fit in with the world around me. But when I leave the world behind and I go paint or draw, that is when I find peace. I am able to release all that so I can return to a good place.

Another benefit I find from this is that I have anxiety and attention-deficit disorder, which I live with and draw strength from. I don't suffer from it, it isn't weakness, it is just another aspect of who I am. And I am proud of who I am. However, I won't lie and say that my life is easy because of this. Quite the opposite actually. But when I draw, I just draw. It is not for anyone else but me. That relieves the anxiety and stress. And when I paint, there is not set order to how to do it, there is no rule saying when a painting is done, or that you have to finish one painting before you start another.

Art doesn't judge. Art doesn't discriminate. Art embraces uniqueness and allows me to be at peace. Which I will admit, is something I don't feel very often.

Now, I am sure you have read the title of this blog and wondered, when is she getting to the faith aspect? We have already covered it, but I will rephrase it. When I paint I am at peace. I feel a connection that can only be described as spiritual, when all the trivial and superficial disappears and it is just the paint, canvas and I. It is at those moments when I feel closer to heaven then any other time, when I can think and listen, and truly communicate with my Heavenly Father. And it is in those moments that I know he loves me. That the trials I am going through, and the struggles I face are all just a paint stroke in the canvas that is my life. They shape the painting, enhance it, but they aren't the painting. A brush stroke is simply a stroke, and a trial is simply a single stroke, a single moment of life. Realizing this I am able to paint those trials into my paintings, and leave them there to dry as I walk away, pounds lighter from relieving those burdens.

I paint by faith. I live by faith. And I don't know what will happen tomorrow, or the day after that, or where I will be 1,5,10 years from now. But I do know that through faith I can face the future, and I find that faith in my art. So I will keep painting for today, and we will see where that takes me.